Dear Future Husband: Food, Family and Faith

I hope you like to eat ……because I LOVE to cook.

Cooking has a way of getting me settled and relaxed. It brings me joy and I want to enjoy that with you. When I cook, I am reminded of family and what it means to have every person in the home represented at the table. It reminds me of the importance of having faith and nurturing what God has put into our home by feeding and bringing life into others.

Proverbs tells us to eat, drink and be merry and I want our life to exude that. I want to reclaim the painful narratives of the past that didn’t allow for merriness to thrive and for food, faith, and family to be our center.

About food. I absolutely LOVE food. It is my love language. I plan my trips around where I can eat, and it is so much fun. But let me say this first, I am vegan. I know… You are probably already thinking, “What? What is she going to cook for me? Leaves?” The answer is no. You won’t be eating leaves all the time, sir. I will cook anything you want, except pork and most unclean foods (read Leviticus). I am an exceptional chef and I love exploring with new ingredients and making the perfect dish. I know you won’t like everything I cook, but I look forward to having a sous chef.

In case you are wondering why I’m vegan, let me explain. About ten years ago after having my gallbladder removed, I realized that eating meat was severely affecting me. After looking at my blood type, it dawned on me that my body thrives on plants. For years after my surgery, I continued to eat meat until I developed some symptoms of Crohn’s disease.  Seven years ago, I chose to give up meat. I then gave up fish as well because I couldn’t stand eating animal flesh, however, cheese was my weakness. The saltiness was enticing, and I craved it a lot, but there is a catch… I am lactose intolerant. I literally tortured my body for years eating dairy and one day, I finally decided I couldn’t do it anymore, so I gave it up too.

This journey hasn’t been easy, and over the years, I find myself still craving fish, (grilled fish to be specific) because it reminds me of my mom. It reminds me of the times she and I would go to the market in Yaoundé and she would buy me a whole fish with pepper. I would chew the bones like a grown person and spit them out. My dad always said it frightened them when I did that, but I was hellbent on having my Poisson braise (grilled fish in French).

I often think of that memory and many other family dinners we had where everyone was present, and I miss that. Even as dysfunctional as my family was. I miss them. I miss people. I miss dancing. Smiling. Drinking palm wine. I miss the banter and love around the table. I miss having my own family.

I cook for many people, but I often dream about cooking for you. I dream about making your favorite meal and having dinner ready before you come home. I think about sitting at the dinner table and hearing you teach our kids about life, love, and Abba. I think about the countless lives that will dine with us and become a part of our extended family. I dream of meal planning, cleaning, and planting a garden of things to feed you. To feed us. I dream of trying out countless recipes and enjoying them at our family dinners. I dream of saying, “let’s eat!” and watching you come to the table. You hold my hand. You lead us in prayer, and we eat.

 

You hear me talk about family a lot and I am sure at this point you are wondering, “how many people does this woman think we’re going to have in our home?” The answer is you plus 10. LOL! I am just kidding. Although I always wanted 10 kids, I realize that is more than likely not going to happen. Your girl’s eggs are drying up. I want more natural children and possibly adopt some children. I want to father and mother orphaned hearts and raise kings and queens of our own.

Friends have asked me why I have not adopted or fostered already especially after my experiences in the foster care system, and my answer is… I am waiting for you. I want that to be a decision we make together because raising children in a two-parent household means the world to me. Family is important. I want a big family and I hope you have a big family that knows how to love and live well. There is nothing more beautiful than rooms filling the house with sounds of laughter and celebration of life with family and I look forward to that.

My faith fuels my love for family, and one of the things I know about you is that you are filled with faith. It is a superpower we have, abundant faith.

You are a family man and a great father. You learned how to nurture and protect because of your life’s experiences and you are gifted at fathering hearts. Through your encounters, you’ve learned to see and value family and legacy and I love this about you. Parts of you hope to have your own family someday and I can’t wait to be a part of that process with you.

 

You, my dear, are a man of faith. A man after my own heart. You know the importance of legacy, generational blessings, and curses. You have worked out your salvation in more ways than you can show the world and you are ready to fully receive the inheritance God has for you. Your faith is the most attractive thing about you and I look forward to this being imparted into our family line.

Like Abraham, God has credited much to you because of your faith and our family will be blessed as a result. Your descendants will be blessed.

I am confident that the prophetic voice and shepherding heart you have will guide us in ways I could have never expected, but I trust you. Like Sarah, where you lead, I’ll follow.

I look forward to being the benefactor of your prayers and petitions to God. To receiving encouragement and hearing your mini-sermons that inspire and move mountains. I am excited to see you pray over our children and seeing those prayers come to pass.

I look forward to you walking out the Levitical calling over your life and reclaiming what belongs to us.

I look forward to us. To meeting you. To dinner on the table. To walking this faith thing out, and thanking God for leading you to find me.

Until we meet,

Your #wifeTOBEfound.