When people hear my story, they often ask me, “How do you do it? How do you get up every day, with the trauma and pain and abuse you’ve experienced?” I sometimes want to tell them that “I don’t,” because it’s not easy. Getting up everyday and choosing life post-trauma isn’t for the faint of heart.
Over the years I’ve discovered a few truths, both in my personal life and in my work with trauma survivors, that seem to help keep us on the living–and healing–journey. These truths have kept me anchored, and I know they will help you also.
Choose to Seek God first
I know God as my Abba. He is my number one priority, and my true north. This hasn’t been easy for me, especially because of my relationship with my earthly father, but choosing every day to pursue God is essential to being able to show up in my life more authentically.
Seek Him first thing, every day.
Worship is a Weapon
In the Bible, the armies going into battle would put the musicians at the front to worship God as they marched. In my life, this looks like putting on my favorite worship music and singing my heart out to God. Our enemy prowls around like a roaring lion (1 Peter 5:8), so we need to be on our guard. Setting our hearts and minds on worshiping God is a powerful weapon!
Create Healthy Community
Genesis 2:18 says that it’s not good for us to be alone. That verse is talking about Adam and Eve, of course, but it shows that from the very beginning God meant for us to live in relationship with one another, including friends and family.
For many of us, that’s hard to picture. We’ve been hurt by friends, betrayed by family, and the church has let us down. It can be hard to trust again.
I get it. It’s been hard for me to trust people, after everything that was done to me by people who should have protected me. But I know that I can’t let myself live in isolation.
I need people!
Choose to Pursue Your Healing
Just choosing to “trust,” though, is not an easy thing. It’s going to take getting your wounds healed and your heart put back together. That’s a process: it might take seeing a counselor, a life coach, or a pastor, and it might take time. That’s okay. Some healing is instant, and other healing might take the better part of the rest of your life.
Commit to Radical Self-Love and Choose Yourself First
Many of us who have experienced trauma and abuse have become conditioned to put ourselves second, or third, or fourth–or even the very bottom of the list. Everyone else’s needs come first. But remember what they say on airplanes: put your oxygen mask on first so you can help those around you.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, eventually you have nothing left to give the people in your life. We love God first, then we love our neighbor as we love ourselves. It’s impossible to love our neighbor if we don’t love ourselves! Even the Good Samaritan had boundaries.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty well. Fill your cup up first by loving yourself well.
Know and Pursue Your Purpose
You’re always going to have people second-guessing you. My life and my career choices are anything but traditional, and people are always asking me, “Elsa, why did you choose this or that? Why can’t you just settle down and live like everyone else?”
But I am not everyone else. I know the purpose my Abba Father has set for me, and I know the impact He plans for me to have in the world. That knowledge gets me out of bed in the morning, even when the depression and anxiety threaten to take over.
Choose to Show up and Live Daily
Finally, choose to show up every day. Choose to live fully, every day. Choose to get out of bed, put your feet on the floor, and remember who your God is and who you are. Your enemy would love for you to bury your purpose, your talents, and your uniqueness. The many painful things you’ve experienced prove that. But when you choose, even on the hard days, to pursue God and pursue your life and your healing, you step on that serpent’s head again and again and again. When you do that, you will see victory and healing in your life.
Trust me, I know.
How do I know? Check back next week to read more of my story, and see how you too can experience God’s peace and healing. We’re in this together.
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